Summary: Chinen is crying and Yamada wish he could be the reasons of his cries (this is too short to have a proper summary)
It has been such a long time since I last wrote something that i'm not sure there is still people interested in reading my fics. But well this week I have been feeling kind of sad and that is way my come back fic end up being a angst.
Here I am again, watching you cry while I can do nothing to help you. I just pull you into a hug and let you cry in my shoulder. You are still sobbing and I can still fell the tears wetting my shirt, so I caress your back and stroke your hair. I’m your best friend and I’m the person you always come crying to every time you feel sad or someone break your heart.
We stayed like that for a while, you still crying and me just hugging you tight.
“Why?” you ask between sobs. “Why is life always like this to me? Why I am always the one that get hurt?” is just a whisper but they get to the bottom of my heart.
What can I do? How can I make you feel better? I always ask myself the same, but end up with no answers so I just hug you tighter.
“You’ll be alright, Chii. He just wasn’t the right person for you” That is all I can say to try to make you feel better, even if I’m not sure if it’s working.
“But Yama-chan… I love him. What should I do? How can I know if they are not good for me? Maybe the one that is wrong is me, tell me how I can be a better boyfriend” Your voice is low and full of sadness “Yama-chan I know you are always here for me, you know me well. Tell me what can I do?”
And yes, you know I’ll always be here for you, you know I care so much about you; but you don’t know I wish I could be the person for who you’re crying cause I would make sure they are always happy tears.
I wish I could be that person that made you not being able to sleep or make you wake up full of illusions. I even wish to be those tears because they come from your feelings.
I just wish for you to love me as much as you love him.
“Yama-chan, are you ok?” your voice make me snap back to reality and realize that I have stayed quiet for too long. You release the embrace and look at my face.
“Is something wrong?”
I look at your face; even if your cheeks are still wet from your tears I can see that you are worried about me. Am I making such a painful face? If only you knew how much it hurt me to see you crying like this because of someone else, if you knew that I feel like dying every time you say you love someone else.
If you only knew how suffocating is to have all this feelings inside and not be able to release them.
I wish I could tell you, but I’m afraid; I have been afraid since the first time I saw you. I’m afraid that you only see me as a friend; a good friend maybe, but just a friend. I just can’t risk this relationship.
For me your feelings are more important that mine, so with my hands I wipe your tears away and again force a smile and lie.
“I’m alright” I say and pull you again to my embrace.
Just when I’m like this I feel like I’m close to your heart, so I’ll keep this hug as long as I can.
I just wish that this moment could last forever; I wish I have the courage to confess and I wish you would accept me, because I wish I could make you smile like I know you can.
I just wish you’ll love me as much as I love you.
This fic was inspired by a song called Yo Quisiera by Reik (is in Spanish) btw sorry for my bad english.
I know is not good but well I hope you guys like it ^^
Comments are always loved. ♥ ♥